Givers need to set limits, because takers rarely do,
- Rachel Wolchin
Where most times “no” is associated with the opposite of positivity, I tend to think of it as the most empowering of words. Coming from an energetic healing perspective, all words and emotions have a corresponding vibration…and “no” expressed in a self-nourishing way, establishes boundaries. Healthy boundaries. It allows you express what you’re willing to do for the good of your inner being, that pure truth within you. And it also draws a line you don’t want to cross with what others may demand of you or what you push yourself to do to the detriment of your inner being. It helps align your thoughts, you speech and your actions.
This week’s theme for me is all about setting healthy boundaries and re-establishing energetic boundaries we failed to tend over time. I was chatting to a friend about how people we know keep staying in jobs they don’t like, allow themselves to be used in ways they don’t agree…out of fear of course, and then they unload their energetic debris on each other. It’s a morass of low vibes in that group right now, all because they’re not acknowledging and responding to their inner being’s needs. They don’t know how to say “no”.
Another example, I had an energetic healing session with a young, sensitive, upbeat dude early this week. One of the concerns that came up was his incessant need to please all of his nearest and dearest, resulting in inner conflict. He wasn’t putting himself first. One thing you learn when you get into my field of practice is to look after Number One first, because if you look after your needs first then you’ll have enough left over to help others. So the key phrase that I had to pass on to him was “remember the power of No”, because to transform into the next phase of his journey, he needed to honour the needs of the self.
Don’t get me wrong. Establishing healthy boundaries is not the same as building a wall. You’re not separating yourself from others. In fact you’re opening yourself up to others by being honest about that cliff you won’t jump off. And when you have a robust self-respect for your self and your inner being, you can bet your boots your friends will respect that version of you too. Over time, they’ll get used to it. If they don’t, well then it’s time to search out your new tribe.
Besides who really wants to be the person who says “yes” all the time. When you can trust someone’s “no”, then its easier to also trust their “yes”. See? Healthy. Boundaries.