We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.
- May Sarton
In the meantime, the spectre of my shadow self has appeared in both my dreaming and waking selves. Although I seem to have conquered “fear”, I still haven’t silenced the doubts in my mind. So I’ve been thumb wrestling with my inner self all week. A lack of confidence, a lack of faith, a nagging doubt, in what I do and if this is even what I truly should be doing. The thoughts arise and because I’m on vacation, I have no choice but to face them head-on. Those of you who have met me know this is totally out-of-character. I’m one of those annoying, driven, single-minded focused peeps. Sometimes nauseating so, lol. Not this week. Ha!
In the meantime, these doubts have surfaced in my body through my skin. My skin has been breaking out in acne and rashes. Patches of dry skin has been peeling in places. Energetically the skin is the barrier between our inner world and our outer world. It’s how you protect yourself against the outside and when it starts to break, usually you’ve allowed a breach in your defenses. In a sense I’m breaking down a barrier and shedding another layer this time around. The mental obliteration of more of my blocks around inadequacy is manifesting in my body. On my literal physical surface.
And I realised what it all means! It’s expansion time, lovely ones. For me and for you.
Before any kind of energetic up-levelling, we all experience a measure of contraction. What does this mean? The thoughts and beliefs you think you’ve outgrown resurface to hound you into noticing them. They’re wanting to be acknowledged and be cleared. You feel emotionally uncomfortable and maybe a bit fragile. Your body starts to seemingly break down with whatever your weakest organ is. It’s the pattern with me and for most people. Growing into your new vaster self affects both the physical and the subtle bodies.
So whenever you feel you’re about to step up a notch, this in-between phase is necessary. As it allows the energetic shedding of anything that will no longer serve us at our next level. Rather than dislike it, embrace it we must and anticipate with excitement what awaits us on the other side. Just over this hump.
In love and in gratitude to this vast unfolding we’re experiencing!